Introducing the Tooth Gnome

Unrelated to the familiar Tooth Fairy, this is one of the least known gnomes. That is to say, he is completely unknown to the childless and forgotten in a post-traumatic stress syndrome frenzy by those whose children have a full set of adult teeth. To those just meeting him, those who have blocked his memory and those who may one day meet him, I introduce to you the Tooth Gnome:

It is unfortunate that he is very, very, tiny and you can not see him with the naked eye, but trust me, that IS an exact likeness! If you were to enhance that picture, say, one billion times, you may get a glimpse of his nefarious visage.
Most humans are familiar with the most common, and largest gnome, the Garden Gnome. However, unlike the helpful and faithful Garden Gnome (despite his tendency to become lost in foreign gardens), the Tooth Gnome is not a nice fellow. He takes pleasure in the pain and suffering of others, especially small children, whose size and intelligence he is, frankly, jealous of. He is not bothered by fully grown humans as they are known to be quite stupid and waste their time causing themselves pain anyway. Children, though, he feels are quite vile. The side effect of tormenting parents with their screams (especially in the middle of the night), explosive diarrhea, diaper rashes, and spit up (to name a few) is merely a bonus to this evil little guy.


Lyndsey-Jane said...

is Lily teething? I hope she feels better soon.